What I think about every ten seconds

I'd like to know why I'm so angry. I'd like to know why I don't "not want what I haven't got."
I want! There's all kinds of things on my list: pay my bills, cover my rent, buy a new computer (a G4 lap top with all the bells and whistles), get a vehicle on the road, eat well, see doctors, travel to a few places, get my Mom a few nice things,
buy a few rounds of drinks now and then...
I'd like to not be afraid. I'd like to be free to explore.
I'd like to take my shoulders down from beside my ears. I'd like to be in the "here and now." Poor people don't often get to live in the 'h&n.'
I would like to not feel like a less-than-human-animal. I'd like to not feel the shitty wrap of crap all around me when I try to figure out how I'll make a future for myself. I'd like to think about having a nice house with a full fridge and have it feel like a possiblity instead of a pipe-dream.
I hate whining about my own poverty. Other people are poor,too.
But, I'm not those people; I'm this person. This person is sick of not being able to eat well, sleep well or be well because of money.
It's been said before: the only people who say money isn't everything are people who have it. Let it be said over and over again-